Friday, December 12, 2014


i love you. you hear me right
i'll get in a car of you.
i'm comfortable a good amount of the time
that i spend singled out among you.

i'm comfortable chatting with you.
i scale a big wall during our talks.
i can't sleep very well with all the
imagining you don't exist and
untensing. what is that.

do i fear you? i think you are
a fucking baby.
you are a baby that could smash 
my bones. i don't think you would ever do that.

do i think that you have that in you?
i don't ever want to kill you,
but i want the power to
make you get away from me.

i'm comfortable walking when none of you
are visible. then i wonder if i'm not paying attention.
i'm terrified when you slow down.
when you yell i want myself to die,
because i can't yell back and
my hatred ate my oxygen i am a pillar
of flamming silence.

i want you to drive me to your house
but maybe you don't have roomates at home
who would hear if you start murdering me.
maybe they'd just be more of you
to help you murder me.

i love you. i want to give you honorary indentification
but you are already rejecting it for
the entire time i've known you.
you choose or don't choose to be one
but are one.

Monday, December 1, 2014


no more late night confession booth sitting.
i want you to want to talk to me for some reason,
but more quickly now i want to hang up.
or just delete your contact from my phone
because it was long enough ago. i didn't like the fight.
i giggle my intellect with the look of persimmon leaf
for a second before i disown my desire to write about
just it. it's dark. i yelled. i yelled slogans with a
cracked voice. a bunch of strangers and me kept it up
and a few friends i don't know much about.
somewhere in my head or throat, rotten
is reminding my of a poem i wrote not that long ago.
my strong feelings are from memories now, which is why
i don't feel in love with you, who i shared no
memories with. making it up used to taste ok.
it's changed to like the smell of synthetic fragrance.
why would i want to cover my body with that
horrible thing you are.